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Post By
Bk Ray

Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
Posts: 7,651
In Reply To

Member Since: Tue Apr 04, 2017
Posts: 1,448
Subj: Tough Love
Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 at 05:52:31 am EDT (Viewed 144 times)
Reply Subj: Did I Do The Right Thing Here? What Would You Guys Have Done? Feeling Kind Of Conflicted.
Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 at 12:06:31 pm EDT (Viewed 158 times)

Previous Post

Okay, this PROBABLY isn't the best place to write this and ask for advice, but I think that doing this anonymously can be beneficial. Also, I have read a few posts here of a personal nature, so here goes. Also, I kind of have to get this out. This is really a NEW thing for me!

I go to a, um, Gentleman's Club. And there is a woman who works there that I have been using (For her services.) for quite a while. We have been doing our thing, and I actually started to really care for her along the way, and for me it was more than just business and sex. Anyhow, long story short (Believe me, it's a LONG story!), she gave me her number a while ago and I got curious about her, so I looked her up. I found out her name, etc. Later I found out (Actually, I accidentally stumbled upon her Instagram page.) that she had a boyfriend (OF COURSE! Why do all my dreams end like this?). I really felt a bit awkward and uncomfortable doing all of this "Stuff" with someone in a relationship. It turns out that they're in an "On and Off" relationship, but I put my morals aside because I loved being with her. This was a few months ago.

A few months later, we became a little bit closer and she was leaving her boyfriend. I felt bad for her and gave her some money so that she could get her apartment (Not that much money, she was saving up for quite a while.). I thought that he was out of the picture, and maybe we can have something together. Anyhow, recently she found out that he was cheating on her (She said that he likes to cheat a lot!) and offered to father a child with someone else. She was PISSED (Gee, you don't say?), and she informed me that it was over BUUUT, they are back together again (I CAN'T!). Well, I thought" "It's obvious that they will always be together and that she'll always go back to him no matter what he does. Maybe the boyfriend will be okay with this, and I can still see her there and we can do our thing, and I wont have to feel guilty.". Okay, so even though she told me numerous times to respect her private life, I went over her head and to the boyfriend and asked him if he is cool with this.

WELL, it turns out that she never shared what she does there. Now I have a problem. He said that I need proof, and if I can give him proof, he will leave her. I don't want that to happen. But he told her, and she threatened to go to the police on me for Harassment. Boyfriend says that he will keep me out of jail, but if I don't send him the texts, he will have her take out a restraining order. I did send him some texts. She was VERY hurt and upset with me, and I NEVER wanted to hurt her! Well, long story short, I will never be seeing her again, but I STILL feel horrible and can't stop thinking about this. I mean, I DID tell him the truth, but she told him that I was a weirdo, and that she never touched me. I really feel that I did wrong by her. In fact, this might be the worst thing that I have ever done!I still miss her deeply, will probably never see or hear from her again because she told me never to contact her again, and I am super jealous of the boyfriend. I was hoping for something of a future with her, even though I know that she is pretty much a hooker there, I still wouldn't care because I see that as just a job. This happened last week, but I still always think of her, and I STILL feel absolutely terrible! On the plus side, I can save a lot of money. I helped her out a LOT (I was going to co-sign for her apartment.), but I feel that I did wrong by her! Really, I just want a chance to apologize. But, if she isn't being honest with her boyfriend (She says that is HER privacy that she doesn't tell anyone about!)-.

It sounds harsh, but I am going to be honest.

1) This woman doesn't care about you. Club's like this are predatory for both parties. Women go there to service clients, make money and not to build relationships. They want to encourage this in order to get more cash.

2) Their relationship is problematic, otherwise she wouldn't be doing this. It's not healthy but it sounds like there is co-dependence going on here. These relationships carry on because both are to scared to commit to a break-up, even if it is healthier.

3) The police? Boyfriend is just using you to get evidence to empower his position in their relationship. If he goes to the police, he will go to the police. You are just sharing more evidence.

4) Look back at your answer and all the financial commitment you have made for someone working in a brothel/strip club. Do you think that sounds normal?

Leave the whole mess behind you. If you do this again with someone else, don't get emotionally involved. That's been your mistake here.

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