The Stargate

The Toaster

ROUND ONE: THE CREATION

Origin: ancient technology.

Origin: early XX century.

Advantage: TOASTER!

Purpose: facilitates long-range travel.

Purpose: facilitates food consumption.

Advantage: TOASTER!

Hailed as 'the best thing since sliced bread'.

The reason why 'sliced bread'
is an historical reference.

Advantage: TOASTER!

ROUND TWO: FACE-TO-FACE

Portability: you need over a dozen Egyptians or a crane just to raise it from the floor.

Portability - small and light, you can take it with you everywhere.

Advantage: TOASTER!

Availability: you can't get them legally, you can't get them cheap, and you can't get them from anyone you know, or will ever know.

Availability: you can get them cheap and everywhere.

Advantage: TOASTER!

Need: you are doing just fine without a Stargate.

Need: you couldn't live without your toaster. Life would lose its meaning, you'd be depressed and you'd end up killing yourself... or buying a toaster.

Advantage: TOASTER!

ROUND THREE: HOME APPLIANCES

Risks: can destroy your house and/or your galaxy, or allow aliens to invade it, enslave/kill you, your neighbours, and then everyone else.

Risks: can burn you, electrocute you, and burn down your house.

Advantage: TOASTER!

Power consumption: needs dedicated generators or an alien-made battery

Power consumption: plug it like any other household appliance.

Advantage: TOASTER!

Versatility: with technology we don't have and intelligence you don't have, you can use it to travel in time.

Versatility: you can melt the butter on the bread if you lay it on top of the toaster, or you can toss it inside a bathtub to kill whoever's in it.

Advantage: TOASTER!

WINNER: THE TOASTER!!
(A CLEAN SWEEP!)